SNL cold open skewers Pete Hegseth and Kristi Noem over Iran

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• 🔥 Quick Facts
• Colin Jost’s Hegseth Owned the Presser with Outrageous One-Liners
• The Sketch Featured WWE Swagger and Hamilton References
• Ashley Padilla’s Noem Declared Self-Deported and Showed Zero Remorse
• SNL Tackled the Cabinet Chaos With Surgical Precision
  • Watch the Cold Open
• Will This Cold Open Mark a Turning Point in Political Comedy on SNL?
  • Sources

SNL delivered a piercing cold open last night, skewering Pete Hegseth over his swagger about the Iran war and mocking Kristi Noem‘s sudden exit from the Trump administration. Colin Jost and Ashley Padilla took center stage with satirical jabs that cut to the heart of cabinet chaos.

Colin Jost’s Hegseth Owned the Presser with Outrageous One-Liners

Colin Jost returned as the pugnacious Secretary of Defense, strutting to the podium in his signature blue suit and American-flag pocket square. The sketch opened with Jost‘s Hegseth addressing reporters about the escalating military operations in Iran, dismissing any talk of war.

When pressed about the situation, Jost‘s character declared, “We’re treating Iran like the Breathalyzer in my car, we’re blowing it the hell up.” He touted military success with crude metaphors, describing the campaign as a “hookup” that could easily shift focus to Cuba. The banter reached peak absurdity when asked about deploying boots on the ground. Jost‘s Hegseth fired back with a vulgar retort that had the audience roaring.

The Sketch Featured WWE Swagger and Hamilton References

Hegseth’s teenage-male energy dominated the sketch, with Jost declaring himself “white Hamilton” and riffing on the musical’s famous lyrics. He pivoted to strategic philosophy, boasting “You’re all playing chess, I’m playing Grand Theft Auto” to the bewildered press corps of young white men in skinny ties.

The comedy cut deep at Hegseth’s actual media style, capturing his tendency to dismiss serious questions with inflammatory rhetoric. Every response grew more absurd, cementing SNL’s version as a devastating caricature of bravado masking policy questions.

Ashley Padilla’s Noem Declared Self-Deported and Showed Zero Remorse

Aspect	Padilla’s Portrayal
Firing Response	“I didn’t get fired. I self-deported.”
Self-Awareness	Admitted plastic surgery “work is never done”
Dog Incident	Dark joke about shooting dog referenced
Next Role	Head of Shield of Americas at WeWork space

Ashley Padilla entered as Noem with perfect comedic timing, immediately undercutting the awkwardness. She joked about “turning in my badge, gun, lips, lashes, teeth and forehead”, owning the South Dakota governor’s well-documented cosmetic enhancements. The sketch didn’t shy away from her infamous dog shooting confession, bringing dark humor to a bizarre real-life moment.

Padilla’s Noem pitched her new role leading the Shield of the Americas with deadpan delivery, noting her office was at a WeWork space outside Denver. This detail brutally mocked the decline from cabinet status to a shared workspace, landing every laugh.

SNL Tackled the Cabinet Chaos With Surgical Precision

The sketch brilliantly captured the moment’s absurdity: a Secretary of Defense treating military conflict like a fraternity stunt and a cabinet member fired after controversies ranging from cosmetic surgery rumors to dog incidents. SNL didn’t need to add fiction—the reality provided all the material.

The cold open cemented Colin Jost‘s continued mastery of Pete Hegseth, with Ashley Padilla proving herself a fearless new weapon in the ensemble. Their chemistry created a sketch that will likely become social media gold, with quotes spreading far beyond the NBC broadcast audience.

Will This Cold Open Mark a Turning Point in Political Comedy on SNL?

With the Iran war intensifying and cabinet drama unfolding daily, SNL found perfect targets in Hegseth’s recklessness and Noem’s sudden departure. The sketch arrives at a moment when late night shows increasingly struggle to keep pace with political absurdity.

The cold open proved that satirizing current events works best when comedians funnel real behavior through heightened performance. Jost and Padilla didn’t invent these characters, they extrapolated them. As long as the Trump administration generates these headlines, SNL‘s writers will have material on hand. The question isn’t whether comedy can keep up—it’s whether reality can stay ahead of the jokes.

Sources

• Variety – Exclusive coverage of SNL cold open and joke-by-joke breakdown
• NBC – Saturday Night Live broadcast from March 7, 2026 with Ryan Gosling
• Official SNL YouTube – Cold open video with 682K views in hours