This is the first in a new (ir)regular installment summing up last week’s news headlines using a ‘remix’ style — a quirky restless glance into the wreckless feckless immediate past. (Inspired by Harpers Magazine’s ‘Scientific Summary’.)
US peacekeeping forces joined with Congolese army troops to attack rebel militants hiding in the northern Congo, including remnant’s of Joseph Kony’s Lords Resistance Army. Ethiopia sent troops into Eritrea. A Goldman Sachs insider says his former employer refers to its clients as “muppets”, and the European court of human rights has declared ‘kettling’ as the “least intrusive and most effective” tactic available to police against protesters.
The Hungarian president compared EU demands for deficit control to Soviet-era tyranny. IKEA in France is spying on the private lives of unhappy customers, and the Nobel prize winning president of Liberia defended the criminalization of homosexuality with the quip: “We like ourselves just the way we are”. One-fifth of young Canadians and Brits admitted taking mystery powders to get high.
The US is resuming its financial support for the Egyptian army. UK health officials are calling for a ban on all-metal hip replacements. Teens in Thailand are being encouraged to ask friends to play football when they have a sexual urge, and brain scans of former NASA astronauts have revealed long-term eyeball deformities.
Scientists at the University of Hawaii have identified a debris field in the Pacific Ocean 3,200 kilometres long and 1,600 kilometres wide made of 18 million tonnes of floating wreckage from the tsunami that hit Japan. Seventy political groups in Canada are refusing to cooperate with Canada’s national spy agency. Construction workers in Cambridgeshire, UK uncovered a 1,300 year old medieval burial shed while excavating for a new housing development. Oil reserves have been discovered along the coast of Ghana, and some American fraternities are discouraging alcohol during frosh week.
In Montreal, Quebec, 200,000 students shut down the city in protest against tuition increases. The remains of a new species of human were discovered in south-west China. The scientist who discovered the devastating impact of CFCs on the ozone layer, Sherwood Rowland, died. A full-scale replica of Cambodia’s Angkor Wat temple is to be built on the banks of the Ganges river near Patna, India, and the recession along with rising costs of production are making bad plays scarce in the London (UK) theater scene.