Just when you thought it was safe to visit your local drive-thru, political troubadour Geoff Berner sets the record straight. There are some really Angry Chickens in Europe, and he’s speculating it just might have something to do with the recent crackdown on refugees across the continent.
The following account is an except from Berner’s newsletter.
In parts of Europe, you may remember that I told you that Burger King, in its wisdom, was selling a product called the Angry Whopper. I am pleased, as your Cultural Correspondent, to report to you that they have added new items to their Angry line of food products. Not only can you get an Angry Whopper, you can also buy an Angry Chicken. Yes, it is frightening. And no, I can tell you definitively, the staff still don’t know why the food is angry, leaving us to continue with our speculation…
Perhaps this is to make people feel better about eating meat? I mean, perhaps all the Angry Chickens were killed in self-defense, when they were on the Angry attack? No jury would convict you.
Or maybe it’s a political statement? The Chicken is righteously angry about the recent brutal crackdowns on refugees in places like Calais and elsewhere in Europe, all applauded by the delighted political class? Did that make the Chicken Angry?
No idea what the Angry Onion Rings’ problem might be. Chip on its shoulder, I guess?