This quirky, somewhat hilarious and critical summary of the debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden arrived on my desk unbidden. It arrived anonymously. And it struck me as so economical, disturbingly insightful and amusing that I had to share.
I offer it up for those who missed the debate and don’t care to sit through two hours of verbal mush to see what they missed — and, as an eye-witness poem of what presumably many Americans are experiencing as the political insanity that is Sarah Palin for VP.
Sarah Palin and Joe Biden walk on stage …
May I call you Joe? She says?
Her fetching locks are down
She is not looking at him
Cribbing her notes? ew she has a American flag panel thing on her lapel
Kids soccer games – yah evoking the family things
Fear fear fear she says
A Team of mavericks?
Put partisan politics aside? Wha?
Crinkle her face she does
Darn right the predator lenders, she says
Hockey Moms Across the Nation, Joe Six Pack! Yeah! The Lumpen Dumb of
America! Let’s rally them!
Biden is calling her on not answering the q.
I’m gonna talk straight to the American people
When Biden talks she stares at her notes
Redistribution of wealth? How socialist!
21:19 Oh Todd, let’s mention him (barf barf, Todd, get me out of here,yeah we’re het and fertile, don’t you forget that America!) paying taxes is not patriotic! Government can be the problem , get out of the way,private sector yeah it is great. Cute smiles. Government reg is backwards way …
21:23: I had to take on those oil companies, I shot em from a plane! Biden has a nice smile.
21:25: five weeks, I’ve been at this…John McCain won’t make any promise he can’t remember
21:27: A toxic mess on Main Street! Sounds like a Wes Craven flick….
21:29: On energy plans…bring up East Coast politicians vs. ROA (rest of America)… some foreign countries don’t like Americans! Fancy dat!
21:31: Climate change…oh, she groaned. I don’t want to argue about the causes???!! What can we do about that, this is what I want to talk about…ok… and—-? Energy independence! We care about the climate! They pollute more than we do! Oopsie… petroleum projects…
21:33: The cause is man made Biden says…
21:34; Drill baby drill,, yes baby, drill and drill… did I hear her say Senator O’Biden? Raping the land she says! Who will pay for this rape kit? And what about women that are raped?
21:37: Great, same sex couple q now.
21:37 She is whining. Not if it means redefining the traditional family…I have a diverse family! I don’t support marriage as anything but het.
21:40: Pre-surge numbers! Closer and closer to victory! A travesty if we quit Iraq now!
21:43: Your plan is a white flag of surrender…she is reading her notes…E-raqui. Oh she’s tough – that’s another story she says. Looks serious.Bristol! I told you about abstinence!
21:47: I-rack. E-rack. I-ran. E-ran. New-clear.
21:55- John McCain the maverick puts obsessive partisanship aside????
21:57: nuclear weaponry the be-all and the end-all?? WTF? It kills people! Hey can we talk about Afghanistan real quickly ok…
21:58: We’re fighting terrorists and building schools for the children cos we blew them to smithereens.
22:04: Ah gee shucks, I’m a Washington outsider, I don’t know why you guys did what you did, gee whiz…Dar-Fure…As governor of Alaska I have saved the rest of the world…
(she has red shiny shoes kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz!)
22:07: McCain has seen the boogey man! He’s married to Barbie! Hell know how to win a war???
22:09: uh oh she is asking about a heartbeat away. Heaven forbid if that would EVER errrr happen …but how cool that would be! The Dude as the First Dude! She’s not answering the frigging question. Back to Wasilla Main Street! Taxes blech taxes blech blech
22:12 Say it ain’t so Joe….dogonne it shucks plain folks gee whiz WINK at Dad, the ex teacher, a shout out to all the kids watching this program yuck yuck, so let’s talk about education and the public system and how well it did me
22:14 uh what does a vice president do? Um um um um, uh back to families with special needs (um, where is Trig? Trig? Trig? Did I leave him on the plane?) near and dear to my heart
22:18: Go Joe Go, call Cheney a crook!
22:19: What is your Achilles heel, Governor? Governor of a HUGE state a HUGE state and my EXECUTIVE experience. I AM A MOM TODD TODD WHERE ARE YOU SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS PAYING FOR OUR KIDS TO GO TO COLL—OOPS TO E-RAQ AND BIRTH KIDS THE HEARTLAND THE HEARTLAND CUE UP THE MUZAK AND REAGAN OH RON YOU ARE MY WET DREAM WE ARE FREEDOM AND INTOLERANCE AND
UNEQUAL RIGHTS AND JOHN OH YOU ARE MY OTHER WET DREAM YOU ARE MY DREAMY TICKET
22:24: Final question – what is the single policy issue in which you had to change a long held view? Oh yeah. Biden mentioned Bork — what a dork. Oh man….imagine if he was head of the Supreme Court…
22:26: As mayor and Governor we passed budgets that didn’t get me a larger tanning salon, those can be really long winters in Alaska. But no I have never had to compromise because I just make everyone do what I say or else
I fire and fry them!
22:28: You walk the walk in these stilettos babe. Lower taxes! Energy independence or death!
22:29: Closing Statements—Ooooh let’s trash the Mainstream Media that GOTCHA journalism! We’re going to fight for the average everyday American family JUST LIKE MY TODD WHERE ARE YOU TODD AND MY FIVE KIDS AND MY GRANDKID TO COME and we’re going to FIGHT FIGHT and we’re gonna spend our
sunset days telling our grandkids’ grandkids (when I should be only 60 then) then if we don’t fight and fight and fight…
22:34, Shit, the Dude’s on stage. And they found Trig. Bristol? Shucks, that Piper is cute. And the Dude is just beaming. He can’t wait to go snow zooming on the West Lawn. Trig! Little dude! It’s past as your bedtime. Piper, don’t drop Trig!